Depth
by Sandalino Silvio Leif
Summary: Halfway through another story, I tried to kill one of the main charectors. That wouldn't do so I took it out on this. Rated for charector death and suicidal Harry. Just a warning, Harry has good reason to be suicidal


Depth  
  
Standard disclaimers apply  
  
A/N: I was in the middle of the eleventh chapter of PWI when I realized I was trying to make Draco commit suicide. That has no place in that story so I'm taking all angsty feelings out here. My apologies.  
  
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No one knew what to do. This turn of events was just so... unwanted, they had no idea how to handel it.  
  
I know though. All they have to do is leave me alone. No one cares about Harry, I understand that now.  
  
They only care about the boy who lived.  
  
The few people who had gone as far as to care about Harry potter were all dead.  
  
That is how I want to be, dead. I would be too, if it weren't for that blasted headmaster.  
  
I, knowing that I had nothing and no one to live for, tried to end my pain and sorrow. Not knowing how to cast a death spell on myself, I tried the muggle way. If things had been different, I could have asked Hermione for a spell. That would have been easier than trying to hang myself from a parapet on the north tower.  
  
Then again, if Hermione had been there, I wouldn't have needed the spell.  
  
But Hermione wasn't there.  
  
Hermione was dead.  
  
The summer after her fifth year, old Voldie had sent his deatheaters out after the kids who spoiled his plans.  
  
Harry got to watch through Voldemort's mind as he tortured and killed all of the grangers.  
  
That was in early July. After that, and the death of the remaining Lovegoods and Longbottoms (frank and Alice longbottom were found strangled in their beds at st. mungo's) Dumbledore sent out an invitation to the at risk families (mudbloods, and those who have seriously pissed off the dark lord) to come to Grimmauld place.  
  
By that time, Harry and the Weasleys were already at Grimmauld place. On the first day that Dumbledore took him back to the school for special Occlumancy training, Grimmauld place was destroyed. Voldemort himself tortured old Snapey until he revealed the basic location in London.  
  
The deatheaters took no chances, they simply leveled an entire three-mile- radius area where they guessed it was. The few survivors were tortured to death with Harry watching through old voldie's eyes.  
  
See, old Voldie figured out something very interesting that summer. If he can make a situation painful enough, emotionally, he can get past my defenses. And when he does that, he can tap into my power as if it were his own.  
  
Harry had been right the previous year.  
  
I am Voldemort's weapon.  
  
On September first, the Hogwarts Express left King's cross as planned. Halfway to Hogwarts, there was a speed attack. Fifty Deatheaters, the Dementors had joined old Voldie and freed their prisoners, blew up a large section of the train, before disapperating. When the students arrived at school, all sixty Slytherins were there (ten had graduated the previous year and there had been no new first years). However, only forty-seven Ravenclaws remained, forty-two Hufflepuffs, and fifteen Gryffindors.  
  
Harry had been captured. Old Voldie and his deatheaters had tortured him, molested him, and finally raped him, before letting him free near Hogsmead.  
  
When he'd healed, physically that is, he was different. He never laughed, never talked, never even smiled. I might have been able to heal, at least partially, mentally and emotionally if all his friends were here.  
  
But they are all dead.  
  
His parents, Sirius, Lupin, the Weasleys, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna...  
  
There were only sixteen Gryffindors alive.  
  
One seventh year  
  
Two sixth years, Parvarti and I. Her sister and the other Gryffindors in that year had been killed.  
  
Two fifth years  
  
Three fourth years  
  
Four third years including Dennis, Collin was killed.  
  
Four second years.  
  
Hagrid and Madam Maxime had been tortured on their way back from her home in France. They let Maxime make it back to Hogwarts. She lived long enough to tell us Hagrid was dead (I could have said that if I was still speaking) and to find out Voldemort had caused her to have a miscarriage of Hagrid's child, before she couldn't take it and gave in.  
  
I wish I had been in her position. Death is probably much easier than life. You shouldn't have to think in death, there is no feeling.  
  
It's amazing how deep sorrow and pain can reach.  
  
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A/N: once again, I apologize. Let me write another quick chapter of this, and then I'll get back to PWI. Thankyou. 


End file.
